Wednesday, December 31, 2008
"ah had some dream..and monk was also there working for mega bank, in a meeting, i saw monk working in the meeting, his face was blushed."
Hah! I would like to personally thank Yurika for these sweet words.
I've loved marketing. I'm in love with Marketing. All these time I had 2 goals to aim for when I get to work as a Marketer.
1. Work in Citibank as a Marketer
2. Work as a Marketer in A Marketing Agency.
Well, her prediction, to me was a step closer to my goal. You gave me the extra confidence I needed in myself. Thank you.
12:21 AM
Sunday, December 28, 2008
It's just hours away from the day I have to go back to school.
This holiday sucks.
I don't want to go back to school just yet T.T.
9:10 PM
Friday, December 19, 2008
Unlike many other people, my father always sends meaningful chain mails.
Yes, I don't count those send it to 24 people otherwise she'll appear before you tonight and slash your throat kind of email meaningful (thanks for sending them though).
If you did not know, my father is working overseas in Shanghai and makes about 2 or 3 trips back per year. We'll make 2 trips to Shanghai per year also. Don't get me started on how much I miss him. Heh.
Anyway, I wanted to share with you guys this email.
A foreword. For people who are struggling in life, in studies, in whatever you do, and yet seem to get nowhere. Take hope, don't give it up, your time has yet to come. This story is for you.
-----_-----------_-----
The Fern and the BambooOne day I decided to quit.... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
'God, ' I said. 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'
His answer surprised me...
'Look around ,' He said. 'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?'
'Yes , ' I replied.
'When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.'
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo'.
He said, 'In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.'
He said, 'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.'
He said to me, 'Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others.'
He said, 'The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful.'
'Your time will come,' God said to me. 'You will rise high!'
'How high should I rise?' I asked.
'How high will the bamboo rise?',He asked in return.
'As high as it can?' I questioned.
Yes.' He said, 'Give me glory by rising as high as you can.'
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you........
4:42 PM
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Let's talk about me...
I'm good at analysing stuff. I've been made to be very systematic, without systems I'll go haywire, nothing gets done and I laze around all day. Without goals, I have nothing to aim for and these systems help me get there, otherwise I'll be like fish out of the water, struggling to get something done.
Systems, methods, anything rigid. I wasn't born to be flexible. I recognise shapes and patterns easily, repeating the same thing over and over again helps me gain knowledge faster. That's probably where I get my confidence from, I tend not to do well in constantly changing environments.
I have a quick mind so I do analyse things a little bit faster, but that doesn't mean I make the right decisions. I know the decisions and what their outcome are, it's just that I'm awfully careless, "more haste, less speed" as the saying goes.
Smack, smack and smack! I do things without thinking much, what for? I don't need to think as much. I analyse things fast and I don't slow down.
Looking back in the past year, I've hurt people.
I've hurt people.
I've spoken without thinking. Too fast, I'm over friendly, thinking I've known it all. I consider the variables before me, nothing outside my scope of vision.
Earth to Xing Wei: People live too you know, people have lives and they do arrangements and things behind your back, whether good or bad. But you live in this comfortable world due to these unseen arrangements.
Earth to Xing Wei: What makes you think you know everything? Who makes your bed? Buys breakfast for you? Gives you pocket money? Made the world a more welcome place when you were born? Certainly you had no part to play in it. You didn't even see it. People do things behind you for you or not for you. Be grateful.
My tongue, laced with sarcasm is one of the worst I've encountered, almost every sentence has a thorn. I've hurt feelings, been insensitive and thought it was all in good fun. But what I don't realise is how people hurt inside. They don't show it. I smile at them and they smile back in reply, they don't show the pain, the scar.
I'm struggling within me. I've always known myself to be sarcastic, the bastard that I am. I poke fun at people and laugh with them. Sometimes, they get the joke and sometimes I go too far. By the time I realise it would have been too late. The damage done, even when I've asked for forgiveness. I hurt myself.
When I hurt people, I hurt myself. I've never meant it that way, I didn't mean to offend you. I don't want to strain our relationship just because of some offbeat remark I made. I need to change, I want to change. But to say I can't change because this is who I am is a little hypocritical. I'm trying.
I'm trying to get rid of this tongue of thorn, but I'm definitely broken inside. What has happened to me. I haven't always been like that, how did I let this happen to me? To enjoy making fun of people? I wasn't born like that, I wasn't born to hurt people. Something inside me manifested and created this urge. It'll take a long while to get rid of it.
But I'm willing to take the first step. The first step of change. I'm still trying.
I can do it.
Merry Christmas!
6:59 PM
Friday, December 05, 2008
Ho ho ho!
Right now, I'm caffeinated once again! I took 2 cans of mocha yesterday and slept for a total of 4 hours. Today I'm going to sleep for another 4 hours, this time, staying awake with the help of Red Bull!
I must say, after trying out Red Bull & Red Bull classic, I prefer classic, tastes sweeter and less gassy. That's good, it is more palatable. But anyway, I'm not very sure of what I'm typing right now.
I managed to finish my project so I'm going to turn in now. Just wanted to let you guys know, caffeine is good when you need to stay awake. Haha! Give Red Bull classic a go!
3:45 AM